There is nothing worse than being targeted by a narcissist who has made it their mission to trash your name. This is an incredibly isolating experience, especially when no one even bothers to get your side of the story. Narcissists are dangerous and can spread lies that get you thrown in jail at the extreme end of things, but also shunned and disowned by your family members and friends.
If you have gone through this experience I feel deeply sorry for you and want to tell you - YOU DID NOT DESERVE THIS. Narcissists often target the most kind and empathetic people to trash and do so because they think they can get away with it.
Standing up to someone who is trashing your name can be very scary but in my humble opinion is something that has to be done (but in the right way) in order to try and stop things once and for all. This can be very difficult when you are suffering from symptoms of Complex trauma and your self esteem/ health is shot.
In previous posts I discuss the importance of separating from the narcissist emotionally and physically so you can get yourself back on track. Therapy, exercise, confiding in someone you trust, and building up your self esteem are good things to do before confronting the narcissist.
Some of the clients I’ve worked with have directly confronted the narcissist by setting boundaries with them. Although the narcissist often will not respect your boundaries, at least they know you are onto them and you won’t tolerate their poor treatment any longer. After setting the boundary it is important to follow up with immediate action.
Other clients use an attorney to legally confront the narcissist in their life. This shows you are legally taking action to get them out of your life. This is a powerful way to not only hold them accountable, but also you accountable to stay away from them.
Boundaries often have to be reinforced over and over again with a narcissist if you can’t go full no contact. But when you do take action to break the cycle of abuse - you have a chance of getting out of the narcissistic nightmare for good.
Once you are out it is important to stay true to yourself. You have fought so hard to heal and recover, you’ll want to stay in a good healthy place. If you are an empathetic- remember this. Other narcissists will recognize your empathy and kindness so it is important to make sure people EARN your trust instead of just giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. There are more narcissists out there than ever before. Stay on guard. Protect yourself and your family. And as always feel free to reach out for help.
Mallory